It’s a new year if you haven’t noticed and magazines are full of how to revolutionise your life this year in a way you have never managed before – lose the weight, do dry January, get a better job, turn vegan, make resolutions and stick to them ….. Yeah, right. The media is also full of the fashion trends we should be embracing in 2018 and although I am no fashion expert and would never try and dictate what you should be wearing this year, I can tell you the fashion trends I personally won’t be embracing.
I don’t get it. When is a hoodie a good look? If you don’t have a neck like a swan then they can make it look as if your head has been stuck straight onto your shoulders. There is just too much bulk around the neck area. The weight of the hood pulls it down at the back making it look funny at the front. Even if you go for a super soft and lightweight cashmere hoodie, it still doesn’t sit right. And how do you wear a coat over the top? Where do you put the hood? Nope. Not for me. Hate them.
Instagram and the fashion press were full of statement earrings last year and it seems the trend is set to continue this year. But not for me. I mean, have you ever actually tried to wear earrings the size of a small chandelier? They pull your earlobes down, hit you on the face when you move, get caught in everything and leave your earlobes really sore. Go for it if you like the jeopardy of getting a ripped earlobe but when did Pat Butcher become a style icon?
Gucci Princetown mules
You know the ones I mean. Hairy flat mules. Apparently they are very comfortable but then so are my sheepskin slippers. They look just plain daft. Being instantly recognisable and with a really hefty price tag, can I suggest this might be a spot of showing off? I live in the countryside and if I ever trotted around our local town in a pair of these I would be stared at, and not in a good way. I’ll stick to wearing my slippers in the privacy of my own home.
Nipped waists, strong shoulders, sharp tailoring and high waists. All influenced, apparently, by Princess Diana who featured so heavily in the press last year and reminded us of what we used to wear. Back in the day, I wore high-waisted everything (there was no alternative) and tried to channel Alexis Colby in my work attire which, when you already have broad shoulders, can start to look a little extreme. Double denim? Very REO Speedwagon. I’ve been there and done that and its going to look stupid on me second time round. Which leads into…..
Crazy bright colours
Approach with caution. As you age, your skin tone changes as well as your hair colour (but then you are probably colouring it so that might not necessarily apply). Really bright tones can look plain daft on a midlife lady. Bright yellow? Will probably make you look very sallow. Bright green? Probably make you look ill. Red? Yes, I’ll give that a go. I have always loved red. Even the Queen is rocking bright fuschia.
Last year was also full of floaty dresses and skirts (lovely) but the lining usually stopped just above the knee (or higher) showing off your pins. However, the further past 40 you get, the more you want to cover your flesh and especially your legs. Sheer fabric is a wonderful way to cover your upper arms and cleavage but can I suggest something a little more opaque to cover the rest of your bod?
WTF? Aren’t we all being encouraged to move away from all things plastic? They are bad for the environment. They don’t biodegrade. The production of them uses fossil fuels and nasty chemicals. If we are being challenged to use alternatives to plastic on the food front then why are we being encouraged to wear it? Doesn’t make sense. Plastic is evil. Don’t go there.
Footnote: Naturally, I reserve the right to change my mind about any of the above at any time during the course of the year, with the exception of plastic. If I had written the same blog post this time last year I think my list would have included crop flare trousers and yet this year I am desperately searching for the perfect pair. Fashion, eh?